Arranged Marriage: Better than the Bar Scene?
Nov 17th 2008
By Lauren Fritsky
We don’t know about you, but “arranged marriage” makes us think of Shakespeare characters or old Bollywood movies. It seems outdated and totally out of place in the Western world, right? Maybe not.
The book “First Comes Marriage” counters the perception of such unions. They’re still commonplace in some Eastern cultures and among some members of those cultures who are now second- and third-generation Americans. Author Reva Seth, who was born to an arranged Indian couple, thinks arranged marriages have a place in the West.
Surprising Stats on Who’s Doing It
Seth interviewed 300 women in arranged marriages from the U.S., the U.K. and Canada. And get this: In addition to being educated and career-oriented, most of them say they’re actually happy. And, according to Seth — who didn’t have an arranged marriage but became engaged to her hubby after seven dates — negotiated nuptials have about a 7 percent divorce rate, way lower than the 40 to 45 percent rate among U.S. unions.
To be sure, arranged marriages are not forced marriages. Blame mainstream culture for that misinterpretation. Actually, Seth says the only positive television portrayal she found on arranged marriage was of Apu the Kwik-E-Mart clerk on The Simpsons (D-oh!). So scratch that image of Romeo and Juliet from your head.
10 photos
10 Outrageous Theme Weddings
Biker Wedding Why leave your Harley at home for the big day when you can ride down the aisle in style? This couple takes leather to the altar and shows their guests exactly how to ride off in to the sunset, without chafing.
Mad Man Dan / FaithRiders
Renaissance Wedding Grab your lute and mount your trusty steed! If you’re donning a garter, run swiftly. One rather aggressive medieval tradition called for guests to try and grab a piece of the garment by any means necessary.
youandyourwedding.com
WWII Wedding Time to party like its1939? All 100 guests at this wedding got in to theme, donning fur wraps, berets and caps adorned with feathers. For authenticity they piped in the sound of sirens and Lancaster bombers flying overhead.
Hartlepool Mail
Zombie Wedding If the undead get married, then it really is a union that will last forever. To make it really authentic you could even get carried in a coffin to the altar. Consider eating beforehand if you don’t like brains.
wedlog.com
Star Wars Wedding We hope Yoda presided over this wedding (”Take the bride, do you?”). The London Telegraph reports on one such union where Princess Leia was the ring bearer, clad in the infamous gold bikini.
klobtime, Flickr
Disney Princess Wedding Nothing makes your wedding more personal than buying a dress from a Disney franchise. Weddings at the actual Disney parks start at 10 grand (”Cinderella” is the most-requested theme, and Mickeywill pose with you.) Next up: “Lion King” groomsmen!?
Disney Bridal
Football Wedding This couple was married at the Cincinnati Bengals’ Paul Brown Stadium. No word on whether the bride wore a sports bra.
Gangster Wedding Bonnie and Clyde made being a gangster romantic and now you can too with some vintage duds and smart pinstripes.
thebreadline, Flickr
Hello Kitty Wedding Never moved past your Hello Kitty pencil case? You can pay to have two giant hello kitties escort you down the aisle, like this couple.
jennfc.com
Lord of the Rings Wedding “One ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them.” Take your ‘precious’ to the Alter and recite lines straight from Tolkien’s classic as the vows. These LOTR superfans earn bonus points for their Minas Tirith cake.
Sarah and Patrick Needham
The author says using some of the planning aspects of arranged marriage can help anyone find a suitable life partner. Her rationale: Most of the people you chat up at the bar aren’t marriage material. Yet women have fallen into a pattern of waiting to meet their Prince Charming there. (And then there’s that term Prince Charming itself, which is also rubbish.)
She says the modern-marriage ideal of a finding the perfect, romantic partner isn’t realistic. “Growing up with the myth of rescue is an influence — the idea that somewhere out there is our Mr. Right, and one day he will just fall into our lives and ‘fix’ everything that frustrates us, from the job we feel stuck in to the rent that needs to be paid,” she told Lemondrop.
Make Your Own Arranged Marriage
Seth advises women to be more proactive and to arm themselves with a checklist of qualities they truly covet. Doing so, she says, can keep women from dating the same duds over and over. It’s sort of like how you approach buying a house — if you want a wrap-around porch and a big back yard, only look at place with those qualities, and and never settle for less. In her book, Seth helps readers do this with her “Seven Secrets” concept. Read the rest of this entry »
MIDEAST: On Top of Humanitarian Disaster, A News Blackout
By Cherrie Heywood
RAMALLAH, West Bank, Nov 18 (IPS) - Israel has imposed a virtual news blackout on the Gaza Strip. For the last ten days no foreign journalists have been able to enter the besieged territory to report on the escalating humanitarian crisis caused by Israel’s complete closure of Gaza’s borders for the last two weeks.
Steve Gutkin, the AP bureau chief in Jerusalem and head of Israel’s Foreign Press Association, said that he personally “knows of no foreign journalist that has been allowed into Gaza in the last week.”
Gutkin said that “while Israel has barred foreign press from entering Gaza in the past, the length of the current ban makes it unprecedented.” He added that he has received no “plausible or acceptable” explanation for the ban from the Israeli government.
AP has relied on reports from two of its journalists who were able to enter Gaza days before the closure began and are currently stuck there.
A delegation of European Union parliamentarians was also prevented from entering Gaza to assess the situation on the ground and to hold talks with Hamas leaders. They subsequently broke the naval siege of Gaza by entering the coast’s territorial waters from Cyprus by boat, defying the Israeli navy. Read the rest of this entry »
Americans, Europeans Share Immigration Worries
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/11/17/AR2008111702879_pf.html
By Pamela Constable
Washington Post Staff Writer
Tuesday, November 18, 2008; A15
Americans and Europeans share deep concerns about immigration, with a large percentage worrying that it can bring crime and displace workers, even though a majority agree that it does not increase the risk of terrorism, according to an opinion survey sponsored by the German Marshall Fund.
People on both sides of the Atlantic express sharply negative views of illegal immigration, and roughly half of respondents said they think immigration in general is “more of a problem” than an opportunity for their societies. The European nations surveyed were the United Kingdom, France, Italy, Germany, Poland and the Netherlands. Read the rest of this entry »
TSA’s ‘behavior detection’ leads to few arrests
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A TSA program launched in early 2006 that looks for terrorists using a controversial surveillance method has led to more than 160,000 people in airports receiving scrutiny, such as a pat-down search or a brief interview. That has resulted in 1,266 arrests, often on charges of carrying drugs or fake IDs, the TSA said.
The TSA program trains screeners to become “behavior detection officers” who patrol terminals and checkpoints looking for travelers who act oddly or appear to answer questions suspiciously.
Critics say the number of arrests is small and indicates the program is flawed. Read the rest of this entry »
Perils of Pakistan
Counterpunch.org
George C. Wilson
President-elect Obama has committed himself to stepping up the war against the Taliban in Afghanistan. It is not an overstatement to say that he will risk his whole presidency, and perhaps even unwittingly put nuclear weapons in the hands of terrorists who might use them to attack the United States, if he leaps too far into neighboring Pakistan in pursuit of elusive victory.
The rub, as the Vietnam and Iraq wars showed us all, is unintended consequences. Our military leaders can, and almost certainly will, make a strong case to Obama that there is no way to defeat the Taliban and their allied tribes in Afghanistan without cleaning out their sanctuaries just over the Afghan border in Pakistan. Read the rest of this entry »
